5. Dark Harvest II: The Maize (Sequel: The Maize 2: Forever Yours)
2004 was a confusing year. First, a movie called Dark Harvest was released in April, a slasher-movie with a scarecrow as the killer. Then, a movie called Dark Harvest II: The Maize was released in October, but it was about a haunted corn maze. The two Dark Harvest movies are different in everything but titles; however, the second one had a sequel called The Maize 2: Forever Yours.
Dark Harvest II: The Maize (or The Maize: The Movie as it also was called) focuses on a father, who is searching for his two daughters in a haunted corn maze. It has a negative production value; the plot is excessively simple and clichéd, the acting is terrible, the scares are non-existent, and the camera work is horrendous. The movie is a mess, and a colossal waste of time.
For some inexplicable reason, someone estimated that a sequel was necessary, hence: The Maize 2: Forever Yours. The movie begins where the first ended, and it is about the father from the first movie, but this time it deals with his relationship with his lover, who seems to suffer from amnesia, but of course, it still contains plenty of cheap scares that are not the least bit scary.
It has all the problems the first one had, and is an even bigger waste of time Fortunately, the movie never achieved a distribution deal, so it is quite difficult to find.
4. Jaws 3-D (Sequel: Jaws: The Revenge)
When the star of a movie refuses to be in its sequel, it is usually a bad sign. Jaws 2 had established that sequels to Jaws was maybe not a good idea, Jaws 3-D confirmed that. The third instalment in the Jaws franchise centres on the sons of Chief Brody, who are protecting a SeaWorld from the shark.
Where the first Jaws had an incredible amount of tension, Jaws 3-D bored audiences out of their minds with its complete lack thereof. The effects are obvious and terrible, the dialog is ridiculous, and even most of the acting is bad.
Unfortunately, the movie was not bad enough to prevent the sequel, and the fact that it grossed almost twice the budget at the box-office made another sequel inevitable.
Jaws: The Revenge marked the spot where the Jaws Franchise went from boring to unintentionally hilarious. The nonsensical plot centres on the Brody family, who is hunted by the shark because the shark is mad that Chief Brody killed its “friends”. Even more ridiculous: the shark follows the family from Amity Island to the Bahamas.
The effects are laughably bad, the plot is insulting to everyone who liked the first one, and most of the things concerning the shark are just ridiculous (at one point the shark stands on its tail and roars like a lion). The movie was panned by critics, hated by audiences, and is one of the few movies to hold a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes. The combination of the negative reviews and the fact that it bombed at the box-office, managed to kill the Jaws Franchise for good.
3. Baby Geniuses (Sequel: Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2)
This movie probably has the strangest plot of the movies on this list, which is really saying a lot. The plot centres on a team of super-intelligent babies, who are held captive at a research facility, because they posse telekinesis and the ability to communicate in a secret baby-language.
There is literally nothing positive to say about this movie. It is not funny, the plot is insanely stupid, and the CGI animated baby mouths look incredibly fake.
The movie was panned by critics, and considered by many to be one of the worst movies ever, but unfortunately, it managed to earn thrice its budget at the box-office, so of course a sequel was necessary.
The sequel managed to do even worse. So much worse that when people saw Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 they quickly forgot how bad the first one was. The plot of the sequel is roughly the same, but even more stupid, and the acting, CGI, and dialog is still terrible. It received even worse reviews than its predecessor, and is another one of the few movies to hold a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes.
When the sequel bombed at the box-office, audiences hoped that it was the end of it, but for an inexplicable reason Baby Geniuses did not just garner a sequel; it spawned a franchise with five instalments so far. The only reason that the later instalments are not as bad as the second is that it is impossible to become any worse.
2. Samurai Cop (Sequel: Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance)
Crossing over to the ‘so bad it is hilarious’-territory. Samurai Cop takes place in Los Angeles, where the evil Japanese gang ‘Katana’ has taken control over the cocaine trade. Joe Marshall, aka ‘the Samurai Cop’, is transferred to the LAPD to help tackle the problem. He is teamed up with Frank Washington, and together they bear a strong resemblance to another buddy-cop-movie duo that was popular at the time.
The movie became a cult hit for its horrible editing, horrendously choreographed fight scenes, bland action, and hilariously terrible dialog. Allegedly, they only had one take per scene for most of the movie, which is easy to spot by watching the ‘Now, I’m telling these son of a bitches…’-monolog, and the entire movie takes place at daylight, because they could not afford lighting. The movie is terrible in every way, but at the same time, it is unintentionally hilarious.
With most of the original cast reprising their roles, and teaming up with Tommy Wiseau, a sequel was released in 2015; Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance. Rumour has it that it was mainly crowdfunded, and it was definitely made because the fans demanded it. Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance takes place 25 years after the first movie, after Joe Marshall’s wife is murdered, where the original duo is forced to team up again, for the purpose of solving a number of assassinations.
The sequel is not worse than the original, but it is definitely not better. It is full of references to the original, that sometimes work, sometimes they do not. Unlike the original, the sequel is supposed to be bad in the ‘so bad it is good’-sense. It ends up being a movie that reminds the audience too much about what they laughed at from the first one.
1. Birdemic: Shock and Terror (Sequel: Birdemic 2: The Resurrection)
Birdemic is one of the ultimate ‘so bad it is hilarious’ movies, and for that reason it is difficult to do it justice just by describing it. The movie is a passion project from director James Nguyen, and was heavily inspired by Hitchcock’s The Birds. It was made for the ultra-low budget of $10,000, which explains a lot.
There is virtually nothing positive to say about the movie; it is shot and edited poorly, the music is terrible, the acting is even worse, and worst of it all: the CGI. The nonsensical plot consist of a lot of CGI abominations attacking people, and it turns out they attacked because of global warming. Furthermore, it is packed with some of the worst action ever put to film, horrendous dialog, ridiculous plot points, and dive-bombing birds that explode upon impact.
The movie gained a cult following for being so exceptionally bad, but in a charming and naïve way. It is clear that the director had nothing but passion and will in making this movie, and most of the fans acknowledges that as part of the charm. It is often times described as a ‘must watch’ for people who love bad movies.
The surprising popularity of the first movie resulted in the sequel Birdemic 2: The Resurrection. Most of the original cast reprised their roles, and it features everything that was wrong with the first one. The plot follows the exact same formula as the first movie, only this time there is some red rain that creates zombies and resurrects cavemen.
As weird as it might sound, Birdemic 2: The Resurrection actually is worse than its predecessor, because it is clearly fan-service. Several moments in the sequel are obviously in there because there were similar moments in the original, a sad attempt to recreate what fans loved about the first. Just goes to show: you cannot intentionally make a movie that is unintentionally hilarious.
Author Bio: Alexander Buhl is the Denmark based cinephile with a passion for rule-breaking movies. His enthusiasm for movies is only exceeded by his enthusiasm for complaining about the overused clichés in movies.