5. Creature From The Haunted Sea (1961)
The legendary Roger Corman put out A LOT of ridiculous films over the years, but Creature From The Haunted Sea may be his crowning goofy achievement.
Look at that thing…
According to one of the actors, the furry mess was made of “a wetsuit, some moss, lots of Brillo pads, tennis balls for the eyes, Ping-Pong balls for the pupils, and pipe-cleaners for the claws”. It’s no surprise the actors reportedly had a tough time keeping a straight face during production.
Unfortunately, Creature From The Haunted Sea is hardly worth viewing for the monster alone. The film is just bad, even for early Roger Corman standards.
When to watch: If you’re balancing your checkbook and want to look up at the TV and see something periodically amusing.
4. Hobgoblins (1988)
1984’s Gremlins remains the gold standard for “mini” monster movies. After its success, a few shameless knockoffs followed in the late 80’s, and Hobgoblins is certainly the smelliest. It borrows a few plot devices from the Gremlins by altering them slightly (instead of the creatures being repelled by bright light, they are actually ATTRACTED to it), and the Hobgoblins themselves just look like furry Gremlins.
Hilarity ensues when it becomes quickly obvious that there is little puppetry involved in their movement. In fact, there are many scenes where it appears the monsters are just being violently shaken around slightly off-screen. It’s an embarrassing experience. To make matters worse, it features a convoluted plot involving the goblins abilities to manipulate people’s fantasies before killing them…or something like that.
All in all, the film is unpleasant. It has a glossy sheen that is akin to a bowl of Spaghettio’s basking in the sunlight. That’s right. Watching Hobgoblins is like eating a bowl of Spaghettio’s outside at high noon in the middle of July. Let that soak in for a minute.
When to watch: ONLY with the aid of Mike and the ‘Bots.
3. The Creeping Terror (1964)
Easily the worst overall film on this list, The Creeping Terror earns its place by having the most hilarious monster of the bunch. It’s a rug. A giant, dirty rug that “swallows” people whole.
After doing a bit of research, it seems there’s a strange amount of mystery surrounding The Creeping Terror. Many rumors are floating around about how the director/lead actor was a sneaky con-man who essentially VANISHED after the film was finished. He neglected to pay many crew members during production, which caused the original creature to be “stolen” back by the disgruntled creature designer.
As a result, the director half-assedly assembled a new monster to get the project quickly finished. A lot blood, sweat and tears (AKA lawsuits) went into making this turkey. Luckily, it retains some form of legacy by having one of the saddest movie monsters in history. There’s no existing evidence of what the original creature looked like, but it probably wasn’t much better.
If you think Ed Wood is truly the worst director of all time, check out The Creeping Terror. It makes Plan 9 From Outer Space look like The Shawshank Redemption.
When to watch: If Ambien just isn’t strong enough.
2. Troll 2 (1990)
Ah yes, the legendary Troll 2. This film has generated a huge cult following for good reason. It perfectly captures the essence of “so bad it’s good” through surreal awkwardness, goofy dialogue, and hilariously cheesy monsters. (My bad, GOBLINS)
The first film, Troll, was about an actual troll running amok in a city apartment complex. It’s not a classic, but it’s certainly watchable and contains solid special FX and acting cameos (Julia Louis-Dreyfuss and Sonny Bono?!). Troll 2 is a horse of a different, sleazier color. Though the film is called TROLL 2, this film actually involves vegetarian GOBLINS that look like they were carved out of petrified driftwood.
There is some explanation as to why there are no trolls in Troll 2 however, because it was never intended to be a sequel. Originally planned as a stand-alone film called Goblins, the film was produced by Joe D’Amato, who was well known for producing quick, trashy, Italian sequels to many American films. Ultimately, the producers and US distributors decided the film would never make a profit, so they decided to market it as a sequel to Troll…even though, you know, no trolls.
Writing about this film doesn’t do it justice. Michael Stephenson, the actor who played “Joshua” in Troll 2, actually made a documentary about the legacy this film has established called Best Worst Movie. It features behind-the-scenes footage, “where are they now” info, and it explores how deep the “cult” of Troll 2 has become. Best Worst Movie is highly recommended for all fans of the type of movies discussed in this list.
When to watch: Anytime. It’s easily the most oddly entertaining bad movie of all time.
1. Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977)
“…The Bed That Eats”. Not people. Not lasagna. This thing just EATS. (Though in the film, it does just eat people) It’s difficult to imagine a more absurd premise for a horror film.
The plot: Many years ago, a demon wept tears of blood onto the bed because of his lover’s death. Now, anyone who sits on it gets quickly consumed by its demonic forces. That’s about it.
Weird Weird WEIRD. Death Bed is not a good film by any stretch, but its Z-grade quality and strange attempts at surrealism make it something that all genre fans should see at some point. It is proof that ANYTHING can be a monster if you put your mind to it.
Beavers…thanksgiving turkeys…gingerbread men…sheep…and beds…the genre will live on as long as people keeping thinking of weird s*it. Please, don’t stop.
When to watch: Right before the acid kicks in.
Author Bio: Taylor is a freelance horror blogger and general film fanatic. He’s a fan of David Lynch, werewolves, and he also has strong opinions of what the perfect cheeseburger should be. When he’s not writing about film, he’s a part-time musician/full-time weirdo.